Archive for September, 2009

30
Sep
09

Amazing Spider-Man: My Take on ‘One More Day’ – sample comics script

 

Originally Posted on another blog May 2008

Keith’s Soapbox (rented from Stan the Man)

WELCOME, TRUE BELIEVERS…er, or rather, Honest Devotees!  What is this? This is my take on the “New Direction” for Amazing Spider-Man!

I pick up this story from where it left off…well, sort of. I’m rewriting Part 4 of a 4-part tale entitled “One More Day.”

While conceptually I like Marvel’s 2008 decision to up-end Spider-Man’s world w/the One More Day story, there were a few issues I had with those few issues.  Namely, these changes came about b/c Peter Parker made a deal with the Devil — not terribly heroic…and quite a bit out of character.
 

The point of Marvel’s change was to make Spider-Man empathetic to readers again.  I get that. But there’re better ways to work toward that (and even undo the marriage to MJ if they want), and the “One More Day” story wasn’t really it. Plus, there were some plot holes and dangling storylines. And, for some reason, Peter seems “dumbed down” ever since — he no longer uses his great intellect.

So in these pages, I’m undangling the storylines, bringing back the FUN that Marvel wants in Spidey, bringing back old friends and enemies and even Spidey’s web shooters.

A crazy fanboy’s work?  Don’t be silly.  I’m an editor and a professional writer for nearly 20 years (but, clearly, I’ve much time on my hands).  And I received a LOT of positive fan mail on my old blog for this, which was terribly exciting. By the way, I pick up at the point at which Marvel’s story went awry, so it’s a Part 4 of a 4-part storyline. Familiar with what precedes this or not, I’m confident you’ll be able to fill in the blanks and follow along.

ENJOY! On with the show….

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN
ONE MORE DAY, PART 4 of 4:

(NOTE: Tony Stark/Iron Man talked Peter into revealing his identity as Spider-Man to the world…which resulted in Wilson Fisk, the Kingpin of Crime, sending an assassin after Peter. The assassin missed Peter but shot his Aunt May. This, amongst a web [no pun] of lies from Tony, has left Peter Parker/Spider-Man and Tony Stark, akaIron Man/leader of the armed force known as SHIELD, enemies. Peter also kicked the crud out of the Kingpin.)

PAGE ONE – SPLASH
Mephisto towers over Pete and MJ

1/ MEPHISTO: OUR BARGAIN IS SIMPLE…  YOU GIVE UP YOUR LOVE, YOUR FAITH IN EACH OTHER, YOUR MARRIAGE.  LET A PIECE OF YOUR SOULS SCREAM FOR THE LOSS, LET THEM SCREAM IN ETERNITY

2/ MEPHISTO: AND THAT IS WHAT I GET IN TURN.  A TORMENT WHICH WILL FEED ME FOR A LONG TIME.  FEED ME GREAT SOLACE…EVEN CONTENTMENT.

CREDITS:
K e i t h  P l a n i t – Writer
Artist – ?
Letters – ?
Dedicated To: Stan “the Man” Lee, Daring Steve Ditko, Jovial JMS, Dandy Mike DeoDato Jr., Rockin’ Ron Garney, Joshin’ JRJR, J.M. “De-lovely” DeMatteis, Dandy Danny Fingeroth, Totally Todd DeZago, Mark “BooYah” Bagley, David “Meshuggeneh” Michelinie, and Joe “Jump & Jive” Quesada.

PAGE TWO:
Panel 1:
Close on Mephisto…he’s laughing to himself.

1/ MEPHISTO  (SMALL): SO MUCH GOOD TORMENT…FOR YEARS TO COME.
SFX (on edge of balloon): HRM.

Panel 2:
Mephisto is, in some regard, the panel (his outline is the shape of the panel, the smoke around him w/his face as the BG,  whatever you want) but we’re looking at Peter…

2/ MEPHISTO: BUT YOU WILL HAVE YOUR LIFE.  NO MORE HIDING, FEARING…STRAINING.  NO MORE LOOKING OVER YOUR SHOULDER AND WONDERING WHO’S GOING TO GET YOU…

3/ MEPHISTO: …OR YOUR WIFE.

Panel 3:
Again, Mephisto is the dominant force of this panel…or IS the panel in some manner.

We’re looking at MJ now.

4/ MEPHISTO: YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO PRETEND YOU’VE THE STOMACH FOR THINGS YOU HAVE NOT, YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO SHOVE DOWN THE FEAR GNAWING AT EVERY BREATH.  THERE IS NO MORE RUNNING, THERE IS NO MORE DEATH.

Panel 4:
Mephisto has now brought in a view of the hospital room where Aunt May lay dying…

5/ MEPHISTO:  AND THE DEAR LADY GETS TO KEEP THE LIFE YOUR SELFISH CHOICES HAVE TAKEN AWAY.

PAGE  THREE:
Panel 1:
Peter’s pissed, wants to grab Mephisto around the neck. MJ’s holding him back.

1/ PETER: YOU DON’T NEED TO REMIND ME WHAT I’VE DONE!  I KNOW WHAT MY CHOICES HAVE– HAVE CAUSED!  I GET IT!

Panel 2
Still angry, but calming…MJ uncertain what to do

2/ PETER: I WANT TO BE UNSELFISH.  I WANT TO BE THE CAUSE FOR A GREAT LIFE, NOT AN AWFUL DEATH!  EVERY CHOICE I’VE MADE…EVERYTHING I DO…IT JUST ALL TURNS TO….

Panel 3:
Peter’s turned away. MJ’s tearing.

3/ MJ: PETER. DOES THIS MEAN YOUR ANSWER…OUR ANSWER…

Panel 4
Another shot of Mephisto, perhaps partially hidden by his cape, looking back at them…

4/ MJ (cont’d): …IS YES?

Panel 5:
5/ PETER: MEPHISTO, YOU’RE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU WANT.  AND MJ’S GOING TO GET HER LIFE BACK, AND AUNT MAY’S GOING TO LIVE…AND EVERYTHING’S GOING TO BE AS IT SHOULD BE.

6/ PETER: YOU KNEW MY ANSWER FROM THE START.  OR YOU WOULDN’T HAVE COME HERE.  THE ANSWER IS…

PAGE FOUR:
Panel 1: a sad Peter and MJ, clutching one another, looking up.

1/ PETER: [BLANK]

Panel 2:
MJ’s turned to Peter, Pete’s got his hand at his mouth. A tiny amount of mist can be seen at the panel’s edges.

Panel 3:
That mist seems to have spread and can be seen more clearly…
MJ’s clearly talking to Peter, but again…

2/ MJ: [BLANK]

Panel 4
A powerful CLOSE on Mephisto…fire and brimstone around him and so forth…He’s looking off to one side…

3/ MEPHISTO: AWFULLY STRANGE….

PAGE FIVE:
HALF-PAGE SPLASH 1:
And indeed it is: it’s Dr. Strange.  Wielding magic, glowing, doing crazy gestures with his hands…you know, the usual.  A white mist accompanies him!  Mephisto is shielding himself.

1/ DR. STRANGE: [magical symbols/glyphs]

Panel 2:
Strange is approaching the couple. Mephisto can be in the BG or nearby in some manner if you like (but not nec.).

2/ STRANGE: Peter, this is not the choice you want to make.  A bargain with this creature is no bargain at all.

3/ PETER: [BLANK]

Panel 3:
Closer on Doc, Mephisto right at his back…angry, but unable to touch him.

4/ STRANGE: I’ve taken away your power of speech, both of you.  I will return it to you, but as you begged me to help you,* I now must beg you to only address me.

5/ CAPTION (at bottom of panel): * One More Day Part 2

Panel 4: (small inset)
Peter gives a tentative thumbs-up.

PAGE SIX:
Panel 1:
Peter, MJ, and Doc…

1/ PETER: I CAN’T DO IT, DOC…I CREATED THIS, I MADE THIS MESS, AND I’VE KILLED A WOMAN WHO HAS DONE NOTHING BUT SACRIFICE FOR ME SINCE I WAS SIX YEARS OLD.

Panel 2:
2/ PETER: I TOOK AWAY HER HUSBAND, I TOOK MYSELF AWAY BY SHOULDERING THIS…RESPONSIBILITY OF SPIDER-MAN…NOW I’VE TAKEN HER LIFE.

Panel 3
A beaten Peter.

3/ PETER: WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO?

Panel 4:
4/ STRANGE: MARYJANE, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE HIM DO?

5/ MJ: WHATEVER HE NEEDS TO DO.  BUT HE’S EXHAUSTED HIS OPTIONS…HASN’T HE?

Panel 5:
6/ STRANGE: …

7/ STRANGE: PETER, MEPHISTO SHOWED YOU SOME OF THE MANY PERMUTATIONS OF LIFE YOUR CHOICES COULD HAVE BROUGHT YOU TO*…

8 /CAPTION (at bottom of panel): * One More Day Part 3

9/ PETER: H-HOW DO YOU KN-

Panel 6:
10/ STRANGE: WHY, MR. PARKER, I TOLD YOU I COULD DETECT YOU SIX BLOCKS AWAY*,  YOU THINK I COULD NOT DETECT A PRESENCE AS POWERFUL AS MEPHISTO NEARLY UPON MY DOORSTEP?

11/ CAPTION  (at bottom of panel): * AGAIN, ONE MORE DAY PART 2

12/ STRANGE: WHAT ABOUT THE PERMUTATIONS YOU’VE YET TO EXPLORE?

PAGE SEVEN:
Panel 1:
Peter, clutching the Spider-Man mask clearly…MJ nearby.  Doc backing off…

1/ STRANGE: I AM MERELY SAYING, GIVE THE WORLD A CHANCE… I DON’T BELIEVE YOU’D DISAGREE THAT MEPHISTO MOST CERTAINLY DOES NOT DESERVE ONE.

2/ STRANGE: AND I AM CERTAIN, NO MATTER HOW STRONGLY YOU FEEL HER PAIN IS YOUR FAULT, YOUR AUNT TOO WOULD NOT WANT YOU TO FIX THINGS…THIS WAY.

Panel 2:
Strange has turned his attention to Mephisto…

3/ STRANGE: YES, CREATURE, I FEEL YOU COMING FOR ME IN MY REALM — YOU OR YOUR MINIONS.  LET THEM COME…YOU WILL BE WEAKENED BY YOUR FAILURE HERE AND SPREAD THIN IN A REALM IN WHICH I AM MOST POWERFUL…

Panel 2:
Doc’s disappeared into some other realm through some sort of hole he’s created…

4/ MEPHISTO: THINK WHAT YOU WISH, SORCERER…
5/ MEPHISTO (small): I AM NOT THROUGH WITH YOU BY FAR!

Panel 3:
Mephisto seems to have sent something into the realm to which Doc Strange has disappeared…

Panel 4
Mephisto’s attention is back on Peter and MJ.

6/ MEPHISTO: THE ANSWER, O’ DESPERATE PARKERS?  THE ANSWER!

7/ PETER: IT’S THE HARDEST DECISION I’VE EVER MADE.

8/ MJ: I– I THINK WE BOTH AGREE, PETER.  WE DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE.

9/ PETER: I HEARD WHAT STRANGE HAD TO SAY….AND I MAY REGRET THIS FOR…FOR ETERNITY I GUESS…BUT MY ANSWER, MEPHISTO–

PAGE EIGHT:
SPLASH PANEL

1/ PETER: –IS THIS!

Peter and MJ in the center of the room, surrounded by Mephisto’s red glow, his cape, his evil mist.  The two of them hold tight to one another, smiling for the first time in quite a while. Peter’s got one arm up towards Mephisto, the Spidey mask resting on his hand, which is up towards Mephisto… the eyes and mask are clearly resting on a point which is hidden beneath the cloth Spidey mask. Yes, although hidden by the draped cloth of the mask, Peter is giving Big M the bird!

[and, p.s., if this were actually being published, I’d alter it to a thumbs down…but still imply the bird somehow]

PAGE NINE:
Panel 1:
Bolts of lightning and trunks of lava shoot from the floor around Pete and MJ, who scramble.  Pete’s weaving a shield of a sort with his webbing, blocking debris.

Panel 2:
Mephisto’s clearly pissed (as in angry, not drunk and wetting himself).

Panel 3:
Peter’s already got MJ protected with his webbing

Panel 4:
A pile of lava is pressing against Pete, who’s pushing back with all his might, but it’s winning and trapping him against a wall.  MJ’s safe nearby.

1/ MEPHISTO: The insolence was unnecessary, welp.  But while the small victory goes to you, the battle itself may still fall in my favor….

2/ PETER: I’d tell to go you-know-where, but I’m almost certain you’d think I was being funny.

PAGE TEN:
Panel 1:
The lava, the destruction created on the last page, even the webbing protecting MJ is all dissipating in this panel.

1/ MEPHISTO: I am not without a sense of humor, Peter Parker–

Panel 2:
Close on Mephisto.

2/ MEPHISTO: I can be quite humorous.

Panel 3:
Same angle, Mephisto’s face is now that of the little girl Peter saw in the last chapter (his mane of hair and the mist remain)

3/ MEPHISTO: Is this little girl the daughter you will have now that you’ve chosen your fate, or the one you would have inevitably had in spite of the bargain we’d have struck?

Panel 4:
Close on Peter, punching wall!…very visibly upset. MJ nearby.

4/ MJ: He’s just trying to rattle you…us.  Don’t let him!

5/ MJ (smaller): Don’t let him, Peter!

Panel 5:
Mephisto’s face again changes, this time the adult woman-in-red from the last chapter (his mane of hair and the mist remain once again).

6/ MEPHISTO: Ah, Mrs. Parker, and what of the lady in crimson?  Is she your undoing in the life you’ve chosen or your savior in the life you let get away.

7/ MEPHISTO: You’ve made your choice, both of you, but I will see to it that you not make any choice again without the pain of regret, the fear of going down the wrong path…Why, even now, there is one more image that may forever haunt you…

PAGE ELEVEN:
½-page SPLASH:
Mephisto has his arm outstretched, presenting an image of May in her hospital bed — a man holding a gun on a nurse inside the room. Just outside the open door, a guard lay on the floor.  Three others are in the room heading toward her bed – these are clearly NOT good guys.

Panel 2:
Worried Peter…

1/ PETER: No!

2/ PETER: GOD NO!!

Panel 3:
Peter lunges toward Mephisto who has already partially faded away.
3/ MJ: Peter!

Panel 4:
Peter’s crashed through the window, heading up into the city…Mephisto is gone.

4/ PETER (calling back): Those have to be Fisk’s men, MJ…I can’t let it happen!!

5/ MJ: Peter! What about—

Panel 5:
Angle on MJ, bird’s eye view?

6/ MJ (small): Me?

PAGE TWELVE:
This page is three (or four if nec.) panels of Spidey swinging aggressively through the city…

Panel 1
1/ SPIDEY (THOUGHT): Gotta move!  Gotta move!  Has to be Fisk’s men.

Panel 2
2/ SPIDEY (THOUGHT): After all this, there’s no way— I won’t let it!…

Panel 3
3/ SPIDEY (THOUGHT): Thought Fisk understood.  Thought I made my point VERY clear*

4/ CAPTION (AT BOTTOM): * Amazing Spider-Man 542

Panel 4 (or 5 if necessary):
Peter’s got a firm grip on a web behind him. Far in front of him we can see he’s webbed up the window — and the concrete around it — of May’s hospital room!  That webbing is still shooting from his wrist here.

5/ SPIDEY (THOUGHT): If anyone’s going to be in charge of Aunt May’s fate, it’s going to be me!  It’s not going to be some devil-creature, some criminal, his goons— nobody gets near my aunt!  NOBODY—

PAGE THIRTEEN:
SPLASH
Spidey’s pulled the window off, taking bricks and concrete with it; he’s swinging through the hole in the wall headed right towards some very nervous Kingpin heavies.

1/ SPIDER-MAN: –BUT ME!!

PAGE FOURTEEN:
Panel 1
Spider-Man webs the guy w/the gun near the nurse.

Panel 2:
He swings the fella w/the gun into two others.

1/ SPIDEY: Oopsie-daYzee!

2/ GOON-A: HEY!

3/ GOON-B: WOHH!

Panel 3:
Another goon is trying to tell Spidey to hang on a second.

4/ GOON-C: No, wait, WAIT!

Panel 4:
Spidey’s got one hand facing one way, webbing Goon-C, he’s looking over at Aunt May, while his other hand webs the other goons on the floor.

5/ SPIDEY: Fellas, you just made the biggest mistake of your lives!

6/ MAN (O.P.): Actually, Mr. Parker, I believe—

PAGE FIFTEEN:
Panel 1:
1/ MAN: —YOU HAVE.

The man standing there is another big tough-guy, bigger than any of the Goons. He’s in a dark 3-piece suit on, wears bi-focals (Ben Franklin style).  He’s Latino, very dapper. Who is he? I’ll let him tell you…

Panel 2:
Shot of a Spidey not about to take any crap from anyone.  The towering Man is calm.

2/ SPIDEY: Listen, junior, it’s been a rough couple of weeks!  And the Kingpin’s already been warned—

3/ MAN: Yes.  And now he would like–

Panel 3:
Larger shot now.  Several doctors are walking in.

4/ MAN: –to help.

5/ MAN: These doctors have come from the world over at Mr. Fisk’s request.

Panel 4:
6/ SPIDEY: Wha–?!

Panel 5:
7/ Spidey: Who are you?  Why would Fisk do this?

8/ MAN: Mr. Fisk said you would know why.

9/ MAN: As to who I am, I’m the man who will ensure that no one gets to your aunt or to you, I will be guarding her, your wife if necessary, and I will be on call to you any time.  You may call me…

Panel 6:
Close on Man…

10/ MAN (SFX): …The Watcher!

Panel 7:
The Watcher has tossed Spidey a pager.

11/ SPIDEY 6: …

12/ SPIDEY 7: Uh…I hate to break it to you…but that name’s been taken…and he’s a lot bigger than you.

12/ (MAN) WATCHER: Really?  I’ve never heard of—

PAGE SIXTEEN:
Panel 1:
Angle on the Doctors around May, examining her chart, checking her eyes, etc.  Watcher and Spidey in foreground.

1/ WATCHER: Nevertheless, the fact is we’re here to help.  HIT A BUTTON ON THAT PAGER, I’LL FIND YOU.

Panel 2:
Spider-Man gets up in his face…

2/ SPIDEY: FISK’S BEEN DEMEANED, BEATEN, AND EMBARRASSED – HURT TO HIS CORE.  BY ME.  and I just turned down a deal WITH a devil…WHY WOULD I GO ALONG WITH THIS?

3/ WATCHER: I’ve no idea what devil you mean, AND, YES, WE’VE ALL HEARD WHAT HAPPENED.  WORD ON THE STREET, FISK’S GOT NO CHOICE BUT TO SHOW YOU SOME RESPECT.  I assure you, Mr. Fisk was very clear about thAT…THAT, AND THE FACT YOUR AUNT HAD BETTER LIVE.

Panel 3:
Eerie shot of The Watcher.

4/ WATCHER: …But he promises HE WILL NOT FORGET WHAT BROUGHT HIM TO THIS.

5/ WATCHER: Apparently you’ve…”earned it”

Panel 4:
Spidey looking over Aunt May, mulling this over…

6/ SPIDEY (THOUGHT): I GUESS IT’S POSSIBLE… I’VE BEEN TAKING WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT IT…EVEN IF IT MEANS THREATENING LIVES.  I’VE BECOME LITTLE MORE THAN A DESPERATE THIEF…AND I GUESS KINGPIN WOULD HONOR SOMEONE LIKE THAT…

7/ SPIDEY (THOUGHT): …SOMEONE LIKE HIM!

Panel 5:
Spidey and The Watcher…

1/ SPIDEY: I DON’T WANT FISK’S MONEY…OR HIS POWER ON MY SIDE!

2/ WATCHER: POWER? ALL HE DID WAS MAKE CALLS.  AS FOR THE money, YOU’VE RECENTLY COME INTO SOME EXCESS FUNDS*?  THESE MEN ARE ON YOUR PAYROLL.

caption 1 (at bottom of panel): *asm 544

PAGE SEVENTEEN:
Panel 1:
Spidey approaches Aunt May.

Panel 2:
Spidey sits on the edge of the bed.  The Docs have backed-off a bit.

Panel 3:
Close on Spidey, we can see Peter’s eyes through the white “mirrored lenses.”

1/ SPIDER-MAN: Aunt May?  Things are really desperate now…doctors here said you can’t be saved…

Panel 4:
2/ SPIDER-MAN: every one from reed richards to otto octavius said to trust thOSE DOCTORS…wouldn’t even come look at you, see if they were wrong by some miniscule chance.

3/ SPIDER-MAN: they all just assumed the worst.

panel 5:
4/ SPIDER-MAN: MAYBE THEY KNOW BETTER.  I NEARLY SOLD MY SOUL TO SAVE YOU….HEH.  YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN SO ANGRY.  I’M NOT CERTAIN IF THIS IS BETTER.  DO THESE MEN SOMEHOW OWE KINGPIN A FAVOR?  DID HE THREATEN THEM?

5/ WATCHER (IN BG): I PROMISE YOU, MR. PARKER. THIS IS ALL ABOVE BOARD.  KINGPIN ORDERED US TO KEEP IT HONEST.

Panel 6:
Spidey’s pulled his mask up to look her for a moment.

Panel 7:
Looking at May…

6/ SPIDER-MAN/PETE: OKAY.  OKAY, WATCHER…

PAGE EIGHTEEN:
Panel 1:
Focusing on Spider-Man, his mask pulled back down. He’s standing, pointing toward The Watcher.

1/ SPIDEY: I’m going to trust you…you and the Kingpin…with my aunt’s life!

Panel 2:
Spider-Man’s in The Watcher’s face.

2/ SPIDEY: But I’m telling you right now, one false move, one guy gets rough with another nurse, one person does anything that puts my aunt or any innocent in harm’s way, you’ll be the first person to pay–

Panel 3:
Large panel.  May is being wheeled out.  The Watcher has his eye on an exiting Spider-Man. The goons are trying to untangle themselves from the webbing.

3/ SPIDEY: — AND FISK WILL BE THE LAST!

Panel 4 (possible inset to panel 3):
Closer on The Watcher…

4/ WATCHER (THOUGHT): YES, MR. PARKER, I’M CERTAIN HE WILL.  AND YOU’LL BE MY COMRADE-IN-ARMS WHEN IT HAPPENS!

PAGE NINETEEN:
Panel 1:
Watcher has turned to the others and is walking out, following the doctors.

1/ WATCHER: WHEN YOU GENTLEMAN HAVE FREED YOURSELVES, GET WORD BACK TO MR. FISK.  I WILL BE ENSURING OUR PATIENT AND HER PHYSICIANS GET TO OUR FACILITY SAFELY.

2/ GOONS A, B, & C: Y-YESSIR!

Panel 2:
Hallway of hospital. Physicians and May with Watcher following…

3/ WATCHER: OUT OF OUR WAY, PLEASE.  WE MUST SAVE THIS WOMAN’S LIFE…

Panel 3:
The Dr. from issue 544 gets in front of the Watcher.

4/ DOCTOR 1: Sir, you can’t just take a patient out of this hospital.

5/ WATCHER 3: Yes, you’re correct, I believe you’ve been put on some kind of retainer?  We’ll need to get that money back.  That way we can be certain she gets better.  Fast.

6/ DOCTOR: That’s out of—

Panel 4:
The Goons exit the room, still with webbing on them. The Dr. has seen them however.
7/ DOCTOR: Uh…yes…i’ll make certain THEY get back every remaining penny.

panel 5:
Watcher is walking off, the Goons following.  The Doc stands nervously.  A patient who should’ve been in the background somewhere PREVIOUSLY on this page is saying to someone nearby…

8/ PATIENT: I wonder who her provider is.

PAGE TWENTY and TWENTY-ONE:
Spidey’s swinging through the city on these two pages…we can have a collage of images around him in any way you like…he’s summing-up what’s happened and giving clues to what’s coming…
NOTE TO LETTERER: split the word balloons from one page to the next as needed.

1/ SPIDER-MAN (THOUGHT): GOTTA GET BACK TO MJ AT THE MOTEL.  I RUSHED OUT OF THERE, LEAVING HER BEHIND WHEN, THROUGH ALL OF THIS, SHE STAYED BY MY – AND MAY’S – SIDE.

2/ SPIDER-MAN (THOUGHT) 2: I’M NOT SURE HOW GOOD OF A HUSBAND I’VE BEEN.  I LET BEING SPIDER-MAN CONTROL NOT JUST MY LIFE, BUT OUR MARRIAGE.

3/ SPIDER-MAN (THOUGHT) 3: OF COURSE, BETWEEN fighting WITH THE AVENGERS, RUNNING FROM IRON MAN AND SHIELD, SKRULLS, MEPHISTO, AND NOW TRUSTING DOCTORS HIRED BY WILSON FISK TO SAVE AUNT MAY…

4/ SPIDER-MAN (THOUGHT) 4: …IT’S NO WONDER I’M A LITTLE DISTRACTED FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY.  AND SPEAKING OF…I HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO’RE GOING TO WANT WORDS WITH ME.

5/ SPIDER-MAN (THOUGHT) 5: FLASH THOMPSON PROBABLY BURST A VEIN, OLD FRIENDS LIKE DEB WHITMAN AND HOBIE BROWN MUST BE FREAKING!  MJ’S AUNT ANNA IS DUE A PHONE CALL…NOT TO MENTION ROBBIE, BETTY BRANT, AND—

6/ SPIDER-MAN (THOUGHT) 6: THE POLICE.  I NEARLY FORGOT…HOW MANY CRIMES DID I COMMIT TO SAVE MAY?  TOO MANY.  IS THERE ANY DELIVERANCE FROM SUCH bad CHOICES?…WHO CAN I GO TO NOW?

PAGE TWENTY-TWO:
SPLASH PAGE
It’s dawn.  Spidey’s swinging towards the window of the hotel room; MJ curled up on the bed (curled-up or watchign TV, she should look sad); a large portion of the page should be a ghostly image of Aunt May in her hospital bed, physicians from earlier looking over her or even operating…

1/ SPIDER-MAN (THOUGHT) 1: IT’S JUST ONE MORE DAY…AND THINGS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME, PETER OL’ BUDDY.  THE SAME…YET DIFFERENT…

2/ SPIDER-MAN: !

3/ SPIDER-MAN (THOUGHT): …BUT I KNOW EXACTLY WHO TO GO TO!

That last thought balloon should be toward the bottom of the page and near a Daily Bugle Page 1 that’s floating in the breeze.  JJJ’s face is on the front, he’s looking like Uncle Sam, finger pointed at the reader.

An image of Spider-Man is behind him (it’s w/in a red circle w/a crossbar).  The headline reads: “WE WON’T BE FOOLED AGAIN!”

4/ CAPTION:
CLICK AROUND MY BLOG, TRUE BELIEVERS!…The rest of my take on One More Day, and the stories which follow, are here on Kplanx.wordpress.com!

Read the next part HERE.
Read: Spider-Man vs. SHIELD or “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Ol’ Shellhead” right here!
And the return of an Osborn or two and a New Goblin…HERE!

All Characters TM and Copyright Marvel Enterprises/Marvel Entertainment. This and other related posts is an unsanctioned writing project not affiliated with Marvel Entertainment or the Walt Disney Co.

kplanx.wordpress.com
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30
Sep
09

LIARS – a buddy/action comedy spec script (selection)

The following script selection is from my feature spec LIARS: the story of a nebbishy screenwriter and a mercenary botanist who team up to save the world from a dangerous lawn care product!

Continue reading ‘LIARS – a buddy/action comedy spec script (selection)’

29
Sep
09

feature spec – comedy script sample

The following is a script selection from my Frat Pack-type comedy  Two Boobs (yes, that’s right) — a comedy in the mold of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It’s the story of a struggling writer (and hopeless pushover) who, with his oddball friend,  will face deadly doctors, convicted killers, and a crazy bank robber all to earn enough money to get his wife the breast implants she wants as a 5th anniversary gift.

In spite of that plot (or b/c of it), the wife character, Laurie, is surprisingly multi-dimensional. The subtext — and yes there is one — is about how men see the world through a twisted lens.

Continue reading ‘feature spec – comedy script sample’
27
Sep
09

Loud, Angry, Loud Cell Phone Girl – 72 People I’ve Met On the Subway (6)

This is one of several comedy essays from my unpublished book 72 PEOPLE I’VE MET ON THE SUBWAY. This particular story is laced with curses, mostly of the “F’ variety. If this offends you, please go away. Go away now. No, seriously, I don’t want to hear it.
Go, I say! Thank you.

Loud, Angry, Loud Cell Phone Girl (6)

So there we were, strangers on a, well, a bus (but still MTA-owned so it’s fair game). I had just come from a movie. A woman nearby just came from work. Some teenage kids talked – they sounded as if they’d just come from Illiteracy 101. Then there was…the girl. I suspect she came straight from hell.

She was…The Loud, Angry, Loud Cell Phone Girl. Continue reading ‘Loud, Angry, Loud Cell Phone Girl – 72 People I’ve Met On the Subway (6)’

27
Sep
09

Amazing Spider-Man sample script – Not Quite One More Day

Sneak Peek:
Panel (3)
In J. Jonah Jameson’s office – Angle on Spider-Man hugging MJ.
JJJ:  PARKER…PETER, TAKE THE MASK OFF!
Panel (4)
All 3 of them. Spidey pulling off his mask.
JJJ: MARYJANE, WHY DON’T YOU GO SEE WHAT ROBBIE’S FOUND OUT.
Panel (5)
MJ and Pete…
MJ (to Peter): I SOFTENED HIM UP FOR YOU.
PETER: CLEARLY.

Continue reading ‘Amazing Spider-Man sample script – Not Quite One More Day’

27
Sep
09

Why I Love Quentin & Why Basterds Fails (REVIEW OF INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS)

Inglourious Basterds is, in every way, much like Tarantino’s last film Death Proof, a piece of utter self-indulgence that you can’t help but enjoy.
27
Sep
09

I’ve Been Cast in the T.V. Series ‘4 Floors’

I’ve Been Cast in the T.V. Series ‘4 Floors’

Yes, that’s right, it seems the world has finally awoken to my genius, and I got the call today.