Archive for May, 2017

30
May
17

Full Frontal with Sam Bee comedy packet

A sample comedy piece written for Sam Bee’s show…
[formatting of red & normal text is standard]

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SEGMENT: The War On Campus Carry

[IMAGES: Collage of the selfies of, and headlines about, the Pulse nightclub shooter]

[SAM:] Last June, just one day after the mass shooting in a Florida club by a shamed homosexual forced to masquerade as something less provocative, like an Isil terrorist, Tennessee Representative Andy Holt felt there was only one thing to do…

[beat]

Raffle off AR‐15s as part of a campaign fundraiser! Yay! Don’t worry, it wasn’t in poor taste, because, in truth, he wasn’t doing it for himself — he was doing it for the kids. It was just a few short weeks prior that the Tennessee legislature passed their Campus Carry law with this convincing argument:

[TAKE: VIDEO: https://legiscan.com/TN/bill/SB2376/2015 (Clips from 7:33:04 – 7:33:49) in which a representative states teachers are “relatively adamantly opposed [to campus carry approval laws]”]

[SAM:] “Relatively adamantly opposed.” Yes, the teachers have stated, adamantly, “We’re relatively sure we don’t want Billy Bob Beer Pong shooting us in the knee‐cap, because his grade-point average slipped. But, aw, what the heck, let’s pass that bull— er, bill anyway!” And so the legislators did.

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