The ‘FRIENDS’ Reunion We All Deserve

I’m not going to beat around the bush here. On a lark, I wrote a scripted Friends Reunion that imagines the characters getting together to hang out sans kids and, perhaps more importantly, without the interference of network censors. 

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What happened was this: I was watching David Schwimmer cussing up a storm on his new series Intelligence, and it made me giggle to see “Ross” saying some pretty coarse things. So, because I’m a writer, without it meaning to happen, a conversation between Chandler and Joey began forming in my head. I paused the show with Ross in it, and I started typing away at the laptop. The Chandler/Joey conversation quickly led to another and then an idea for an actual story.

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An hour later, I had 30 pages. Two days later, I had a 1-hour special.

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Download it in PDF right below (note: It’s NOT for kids):

The One Where It’s 15 Years Later & Rated_R

Or 1st check out this 12-page preview:

Masked-Man – a comedy satire

When an old-fashioned hero loses his sidekick in a superheroing accident, he decides he himself will become a sidekick and soon teams up with a modern, “woke” female superhero — one who will drag him kicking and ka-POWing into the 21st century.

Below, you can click and see the cold open. PDF avail upon request.

BIG BANG THEORY: The Alternate Earth Addendum (spec script)

In this episode of The Big Bang Theory:
After theorizing Dr. Stephen Hawking’s alternate universe theory may be true, we take a trip to a place called Earth 2 & find slightly altered versions of the BBT gang.

That’s my premise. Keeping in mind that a spec should capture a show without changing anything about it (i.e., it should feel like any other episode, without making any major status quo changes), I approached it by using as a springboard concepts BBT has mildly explored, but never seriously.

This approach allows it to feel more like any other episode (altho’, I imagine, in a writers room, an episode like this would probably be taken further than I take it). However, for me, exploring an “alternate world” concept, I shouldn’t change too much. So while I tried to give the principle actors some fun new things to work with, I don’t stray too far from the series. There’s a reason the show’s been on as long as it has — the characters work just as they are.

The cold open sets it up, &, from there, the episode is then set within one of the funniest episodes of the past with the idea that the episode (b/c of the alternate Earth concept) would go off in a different direction. I think it does so in a really fun way. Enjoy!

Full Frontal with Sam Bee comedy packet

A sample comedy piece written for Sam Bee’s show…
[formatting of red & normal text is standard]

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SEGMENT: The War On Campus Carry

[IMAGES: Collage of the selfies of, and headlines about, the Pulse nightclub shooter]

[SAM:] Last June, just one day after the mass shooting in a Florida club by a shamed homosexual forced to masquerade as something less provocative, like an Isil terrorist, Tennessee Representative Andy Holt felt there was only one thing to do…

[beat]

Raffle off AR‐15s as part of a campaign fundraiser! Yay! Don’t worry, it wasn’t in poor taste, because, in truth, he wasn’t doing it for himself — he was doing it for the kids. It was just a few short weeks prior that the Tennessee legislature passed their Campus Carry law with this convincing argument:

[TAKE: VIDEO: https://legiscan.com/TN/bill/SB2376/2015 (Clips from 7:33:04 – 7:33:49) in which a representative states teachers are “relatively adamantly opposed [to campus carry approval laws]”]

[SAM:] “Relatively adamantly opposed.” Yes, the teachers have stated, adamantly, “We’re relatively sure we don’t want Billy Bob Beer Pong shooting us in the knee‐cap, because his grade-point average slipped. But, aw, what the heck, let’s pass that bull— er, bill anyway!” And so the legislators did.

SCREENPLAY – THURSDAYS WITH ADOLF…a dark satire of “coming-of-age” films…

WGA#: #1711563

THURSDAYS WITH ADOLF:
– Official Selection Hollywood Comedy Film Fest
– Top 10% Academy’s Nicholl Fellowship contest
– Official Selection/Semi-Finals ScreenplayFestival.com
– Official Selection/Contest Finalist, Brooklyn Film Fest

LOG LINE:
THURSDAYS WITH ADOLF: In the future, an outcast teen & his odd pal are befriended by a hateful old man who teaches them about life, art, women, & hate when they’re forced to work for him… & discover along the way that he’s, somehow, secretly Hitler.

COMPS: HAROLD & KUMAR meets THE WAY, WAY
BACK and PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER;
DONNIE DARKO meets Mel Brooks.

Two scenes below…..

John Oliver/Last Week Tonight Comedy Packet

Several months prior to the premiere, I reached out to John Oliver’s people for a shot at a writing post on his then-upcoming/unnamed HBO series. They sent me a submission packet.

 

The packet requested: Two “headline news” segments (national & international news); also requested were two outlines for more-detailed segments (which could include roving reporters, video, and so on) covering same.

 

I was given about 36 hours to conceive, write, edit, and submit all of the below. And it was December 30th. Sooo…yeah…no pressure at all!

 

In spite of what I think is some very strong — and sharp — satire, I didn’t make the cut. According to a rep, her contact said it was due to my lack of TV credits, but the work was passed up the ladder one by one “to the very top.”

 

Damn travesty, I say. But I’m biased. The following is what I sent (warning: naughty words abound!)…

 

HEADLINE SCRIPT – NATIONAL NEWS

JOHN
Hello! In an announcement that may have
surprised viewers and critics across our
Puritanical nation, Duck Dynasty chief
red neck and good, duck-murdering
Christian, Phil Robertson, announced 
he disapproves of gays and that
homosexuality is a sin.
(beat)
It really was quite a shock – he
seemed so open-minded at the Ninth
Annual Beard-Pulling Finals.

GFX Image: A Truck Pull event, Duck Dynasty’s Robertson, his
beard looped around front bumper of a truck, they’re in a tug
of war.

Dumé Jones, a hard-bitten P.I. in 1950s MEPHISTOPOLIS — HORROR tale

Mephistopolis: Both a city and the title of this literary horror novel with strong fantasy elements. It weaves the tale of the city’s leader, The Abandoner, through the stories of people from all walks of life who are mysteriously drawn to it, unknowingly given a chance to atone for their sins.

Mephistopolis takes us on many personal journeys, poses to the reader the question “What is evil?” (And questions the ideas [and ideals] of religion.)

Another chapter is here!

This story takes place in Mephistopolis in the 1950s. It’s a crime noir tale, one of many genres the book utilizes in telling the city’s story.

Dumé Jones, P.I.

Mephistopolis was a town zooming toward a major growth-spurt. What happened at this time altered much about the city’s future, the city’s control, the city’s life and citizenry.

Who’s to blame for this? Who’s the one who could so powerfully alter the course of the harsh city? Some say it was the devil himself. . .

But they would be laying that blame incorrectly.

Whoever’s fault it was doesn’t matter. On this day—and red running shoes notwithstanding—when the smartly dressed black man blew into town in his dark, vaguely pin-striped fitted sports coat, yellow, silky button-down shirt, and slate-gray slacks (and those damned red tennis shoes) smack dab in the middle of a decade remembered for rock ‘n’ roll and poodle skirts and a Korean war Americans try to forget, Mephistopolis simply and quite definitely went to Hell in a hand basket.

And that’s saying a lot.

Guys Are Disgusting & So Very Dense (Women Are Crazy And Make No Sense)

The following are the covers and a few select pages from Guys Are Disgusting & So Very Dense (Women Are Crazy And Make No Sense) — also known as Women Are Crazy And Make No Sense (Guys Are Disgusting & So Very Dense)….

Table of Contents

If you’ve landed on the blog’s home page, scroll down for writing samples (film, comics, & more) OR click “Continue reading ‘Table of Contents'” just below for the TOC. Scrolling on the blog landing page gives you brief previews. However, if you were linked directly to the TOC, you’ll just see a list of links…

Script Sample from Franchise Horror Feature ‘FEAR EVERYTHING’

FEAR EVERYTHING

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Logline: A young woman finds her friends’ fears being turned into terrifying reality and tries to find the courage to defeat the demon that’s doing it — a demon she brought here.

Tone: “Alien” meets “Nightmare on Elm Street.”

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TITLE OVER:

The rituals you are about to see were merely inspired by
those used in real life.
Actual demonic rituals are not portrayed in this film in order
to protect the filmmakers.

ALIENS IN ARKHAM ASYLUM

The following was given the green light from then-editor Denny O’Neil. The idea? What if the Arkham Asylum lunatics from Batman had to fight the Aliens? Awesome, yes? But I needed help to pitch. At that time, some years back now, writing up treatments was NOT my strength (As the man once said, “I’m much better now.”). I asked a veteran writer w/whom I had become friendly — David Michelinie (the guy who created Venom and gave Tony Stark a drinking problem). Lucky us, DC was owed 1 Dark Horse/DC team-up.

David thought it was a great idea, save for one problem. He wrote to me: “Dark Horse has a rule: All Aliens stories must take place in outer space.” So I wrote back: “Easy fix. An unreliable narrator. Maybe it DID take place in space.” And thus we were off!

From there we wrote up a list of NEW Arkham characters — fodder for the Aliens to kill and maim. I think we cut their names from the final (below), but some included Doc Feces & Don Wand.

Ahem. Sooo, with you caught up and everything in place….

X-Men Scripting Test

Some years back, an editor at Marvel Comics was impressed with script samples I sent. As a result, he asked I take a “scripting test.”

I received a Plot—the writers of Marvel Comics often write in plot summaries—and Artwork, and it’s my job to add Dialogue.  He informed me he liked what he saw…just before leaving Marvel forever (honestly, I can’t recall if he left or was laidoff or what).

Below are pages from the comic, sporting its ACTUAL script, accompanied by MY SCRIPT TEST pages. I was told to pick any scene or scenes I wanted to write, up to five pages 10 pages (see the other X-post for clarification).

The main difference between comic books and picture books is that the latter merely describes what’s on a page (“See Jane Run!”; “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish”), while comic books give INSIGHT into the images. So, when we see Peter Parker swinging over the city (i.e., Jane running), the caption might say “As our wily web-swinger careens across our fair Metropolis…” but then there’s insight: “…he wonders about his battle with the unscrupulous Scorpion!” Which, you know, is not shown visually. It’s usually in a thought bubble.

The Superman Film Treatment (solicited by Legendary Pictures)

M A N  of  S T E E L

At the end of 2009, the next Superman film was still in limbo. Legendary Pictures (then the producers of Superman/Man of Steel) had read, and enjoyed, a script of mine — one about superheroes — and, thus, asked me if I’d work up an idea for MAN OF STEEL.

As it turns out, the tone of my treatment — and even a lot of the elements — ended up being quite similar to 2012’s The Avengers (see list in the Afterthoughts section). So while MAN OF STEEL ended up dealing in “realism,” my idea was apparently the kind of thing auds were starving for — a world of the fantastic (in the old-fashioned sense).

The below “treatment” — Hollywood talk for a summary meant to give a sense of tone, approach, the character arcs and basic story — gives the Superman/Clark/Lois triangle a new twist. Metropolis has a modern feel with the characters fully grounded in today’s world. All with nods to 75+ years of Superman (and opening doors for potential spin-offs [keep an eye out for my nod to the original Captain Marvel].

Mind you, I would approach this very differently today — not in terms of the portrayal of the characters but in the story itself. Since we’ve now seen a lot of these elements, they’re a bit mundane by our current standards. (I kind of like the idea of an alt-world Superman [Ultraman in the comics] coming to our Earth unbeknownst to either the audience or the other characters and making Earth a living hell — but I wouldn’t reveal it until 15 mins into the 1st act that it’s Ultraman).

I chose two very unlikely villains (which would undoubtedly annoy fans). They work off each other surprisingly well and keep the focus on Superman nicely. It also helped give the story a breakneck pace with wit and action…plus allowed me to play up my subtle theme about growing up/taking responsibility, which several characters go through.

I had batted around black ops and lessons re: “Truth, Justice & the American Way” Meh. It’d been done to death in film and comics. Luthor was old hat, Zod & Brainiac Krypton-related and thus inappropriate for a 1st movie about Superman’s self-discovery.

For me, Superman’s first movie should deal — not with his Kryptonian heritage but — with Superman as Earth’s defender, with Clark as a person.

Also, at the time, there was no official word on if this was a soft or hard reboot. So I avoided an origin story completely.

Superman’s origin is covered, but the details are saved for a sequel (detailed at end w/The Avengers info), thus, we enter this world with the Daily Planet, Lois, Clark, and Superman in their traditional roles. So, without further ado…

S U P E R M A N

A Film Treatment by K e i t h

The Setup
Superman films begin by moving through space…

This time we end up inside a vast alien ship, in a room of glowing white globes. We hear an emotionless voice explain these are remnants of dead worlds, and it details the story of Krypton, her Last Son, and the place he calls home…bringing us to…

Act 1

In the great, black void of space, an incredible phenomenon has pushed Mars out of orbit. Earth’s in danger. Only one man can save us — SUPERMAN!

With an ExoSuit from S.T.A.R. Labs attached at the back of his longjohns, Supes draws in more of the sun’s rays, amping his power to an extreme. That info and our hero’s instructions are received via his headset (over this headset we also hear another voice make bizarre comments — is it a hacker…or someone far more devious?).

Before long, a struggling Superman’s done something only he (with the exo-suit) could do — pulled Mars back into orbit, saving the universe!

Heading to Earth, Superman stops to offer a wave to the space station astronauts. In mid-salute, there’s a flash! Superman’s outfit has suddenly changed into something bizarre.

Supes flashes back to normal just as quickly and heads toward Earth — the astronauts are left dumbfounded. Superman seemed to not have noticed a thing.

There’s a beat. Then an outline of a skinny figure appears amidst the stars; we hear a raspy giggle.
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The Daily Planet.
We meet:

LOIS:
Argues with Perry about her blog and who’s on the city beat (she or Kent); promises a report about Superman’s Mars mission by end-of-day; mentions a prison interview with the “evil genius everyone wants to talk to.” She’s clearly an accomplished journalist, someone to be reckoned with.

PERRY WHITE:
A tough, micro-managing boss. He troubleshoots problems at the Planet (including Lois Lane spreading herself too thin); on his cell, he promises his wife he’ll be home for dinner.

JIMMY:
Brash teenager, intern; tired of running errands — wants to do something!

CLARK, a stiff and clumsy sort, arrives amidst the chaos, banters with Lois, is told to “buddy up” with Lane on the prison interview…but Lois wants it all to herself – she sneaks out!

With the prison outside Metropolis, Lois gets in her car, but she and others around the city discover their cars are being radio controlled by a mystery man!….

Inside a metallic shack beneath an old WHIZ radio tower high atop Metropolis:
Bulbs blink, but there’s a steady deep-red blush of emergency lighting. An odd-looking creep of a man in spectacles is bathed in the glow of his laptop screen, on it a Grand Theft Auto-like game of cars. Several mini USB joysticks sit like ducks in a row in front of him. With a gentle finger on each, he controls the cars. The man laughs like a child….

Cars careen out of control; Superman’s on the scene, using his powers with smarts: With x-ray and telescopic vision, he times right down to the millisecond who needs saving next, using super-speed he gets to each person in time….

The Man of Steel catches cars flying out of city garages; his heat-vision turns things to mush to soften impacts; superbreath turns a fountain to ice, then darts of heat mash it to slush, slowing more cars safely.

The bespectacled man in the tower is upset — we learn of a lost childhood, parents not interested in him, and a life of loneliness in a Global Village. He’s every lonely YouTuber, Twitterer, and online troller. He’s everyone who’s ever felt alone sitting at their PC.

After the mêlée: Lois and Superman steal a few moments together — they’re clearly an item. She wants to know “where this is going,” but reporters interrupt; their sensationalistic reporting blames Big S for the day’s destruction. Superman and Lois exeunt – he takes her out to the prison.

Once inside, Lois discovers Clark already there waiting for her. Oh, and that giggling outline seen in space earlier? It’s witnessed all of the above.

In the prison, Lois and Clark await their contact. He enters, and it’s a face we know: LEX LUTHOR. A grim genius, prison is just another base of operations. He uses the presence of the reporters to attempt an escape, but a “bumbling Kent” accidentally stops it.

Now Lex won’t give an interview with Kent around. Out of respect for Lois, Clark leaves.

The interview fills us in on how Lex got there, what he’s all about, and why he hates Superman. Lex also talks of the car chaos from before, having already discerned a connection to toys.

Exiting prison, e-mailing Mr. White some incomplete articles, Lois is kidnapped by a Toy-themed contraption. Later, Clark is worried about Lois’s whereabouts unaware she’s been kidnapped; Perry calms him and requests Clark finish-up “her piece on this ‘Toy Man.'”

Meanwhile, Mr. White’s wife and Jimmy both continue to hassle Perry.

Evening, at the Kent farm: Clark’s adopted parents, Ma and Pa Kent, admire the (online) article by Clark and Lois and chat w/Clark about the pair’s relationship… It isn’t long before Clark has to exit as Superman. He soon discovers the TOYMAN threatening Metropolis.

ToyMan is a mad loser. He claims a love for Lois, his heroine, and promises to do to Metropolis what’s been done to him all his life: take everything it holds dear. Nobody — not Perry, Lex, the captured Lois, or even Superman — takes him seriously. And, in mere seconds, Superman is at ToyMan’s metal shack, offering to get him help.

While confronting ToyMan, Superman’s hearing picks up someone else nearby. Bouncing heat vision off of a reflective surface, he hits the invisible creature we’ve previously “seen” — and the creature finally appears, cursing and angry.

Its name is MXYZPTLK (mix-yiz-plik). And he doesn’t think Superman “played fair”! Turns out, he “travels the multiverse” for fun and sport and thinks Superman is the “most incredible thing” he’s ever seen!

Mxy’s excited to “battle” the large, flying man but realizes he needs to plan. So, with a snap of his fingers, the ToyMan and Mxy are gone…with Lois!

Act 2
Outside Metropolis, in an old toy factory, Mxyzptlk and ToyMan appear.

Mxyzptlk wants Toyman as his minion, to help goad the Man of Steel. Lois, still in captivity, hears this and rails at the crazy villains. When ToyMan tries to calm her down, she escapes!

Mxyzptlk, amused, lets her run off.

In the A.M.: Lois is safe and discovers Mxyzptlk has altered a piece she wrote for the Planet, inserting hints of destruction to come!…

The Metropolis Tram: A new attack takes shape: In a clearly homemade cart connected to the tram’s last car, Toyman’s got his laptop jerry-rigged to a power source inside the tram. A Sim game displays a tram; as it speeds up, so does the real one! Multiple trams appear on-screen — ToyMan smiles mischievously. Mxy eggs him on with a “Now we’re cookin’!”

Clark, a passenger on one tram, notices the danger…he runs through the cars, and, as he does, becomes…..Superman!

ToyMan controls the tram system like toy trains. Superman strategizes the use of his powers to save the day — but one tram escapes, taking a nosedive into Metropolis Sound! Our hero dives in, creates a funnel with super-speed, keeping the tram topside and saving everyone (frustrating Mxyzptlk)!

In the aftermath, Superman and Lois are together again, but before she can detail her doubts about the two of them, Mxyzptlk re-kidnaps her just to spite Superman!

In The Warehouse (Mid-Point):
ToyMan is thrilled that Lois is again his prisoner — Lois, not so much.

Superman soon bursts in and faces-down the magical Imp…

Mxyzptlk complains Superman isn’t playing the game right and forces Big Blue to make a deal. Superman will “play fair” if they can agree on some rules: Mxyzptlk can only attack Superman directly and, also, “no telling secrets” (i.e., his secret I.D.). Agreed. But if Superman wants to get rid of Mxyzptlk, he must trick the magical imp into saying his name backwards!

The games begin!…and Mxyzptlk immediately sends Metropolis’s guardian to the center of the Earth — just for fun. Our hero spins his way to the surface, finding himself in a village that truly needs the help of a Superman…It’s a life-changing experience for the hero.

Between giant Army Man toys and other dangers, Jimmy gets his first photo assignment.

TV reporters blast Superman for being MIA, and Mxyzptlk’s not happy, but (in prison) Luthor’s thrilled with the chaos.

Superman comes back a new man from several experiences across the globe. Later, as Clark, he and Lois spend some time together, discussing the things they’re going through (he masks Superman’s experiences as his own).

Soon after, frustrated by yet another defeat by Superman, Mxyzptlk endows ToyMan with enhanced intelligence!

Act 3
The Daily Planet – The Next Day: Lois receives another hint from playful Mxyzptlk on the next attack.

Lois puts the hints together and heads with Jimmy to the Metropolis docks, where they, without the help of Superman, end up saving their fair city from ToyMan.

But Superman does appear just as the chaos winds down; Lois berates him for an arrival that’s “not exactly just in time” and realizes the real issue, the reason for her continuous berating of him, is that she needs to resolve her feelings for him.

However, just then, ToyMan’s attack continues: Bizarre Android Duplicates of ToyMan appear — one kidnaps Lois again (“Alright, now…I think you’ve met the damsel/distress quota here!”). Then, at a nearby construction site, pipes, girders, and machinery pull and twist together to form an electromagnetic robot of iron and lead scraps! It draws more metal to it, growing in size. This giant ’bot is controlled by ToyMan! It and Superman go toe to toe – the fight is big, loud, fast, and fun!

Jimmy takes some great photos while Superman tackles the moon-sized menace! Meanwhile, elsewhere, Lois tries to get through to the ToyMan….

Superman soon pits the androids and robot against each other, but, upon its destruction, the androids release a chemically treated soot into the air which blackens Metropolis’s sky and blocks the sun!

Superman, fighting at full-power, begins to weaken… Jimmy tries to help Superman but learns a valuable lesson as a photographer: Don’t get involved! He loses his camera and all of his photos.

ToyMan, growing more and more insane, rants at Lois — like a kid having a tantrum — as she secretly texts Perry. At the Planet, Perry hangs up the phone on his wife to decipher the incoming messages…

Superman defeats the robot, but Mxy pulls out one final trick and soon wallops Superman clear across Metropolis!

…Superman lands hard. But he’s landed just outside of…STAR Labs.

Perry finally deciphers Lois’s texts and thus sends in the cavalry: Police cars (ToyMan’s favorite toys as a child) surround the villain’s HQ. The cops pull his plugs, but just before his computer shuts off, we witness an on-screen Sim-Android Duplicate escape down a chute in his sim city…

Elsewhere: Mxyzptlk is so thrilled, he’s beside himself. Literally. Until we hear O.S.: “Oh, that’s right…we still have a game to finish!”

It’s Superman! The Man of Steel’s been re-charged! He sports an Exosuit similar to the one seen at the film’s start, although this has a solar-panel “S” chestplate! Mxyzptlk attacks Solar-Superman, but the imp can’t match him punch-for-punch, so he gets creative again!…

• Dinosaurs appear! Superman sends them into the ice age with superbreath!
• The city itself attacks him — melted tar tugs at Superman; bridge cables snake around him. Our hero prevails by siccing the city on itself.
• His hands are turned to Kryptonite! Superman covers them in scraps of lead from the giant robot he had only just defeated!
• Then…Superman is sent to an alien world — “That should do it!” declares Mxyzptlk!

We follow Superman’s quick-escape from the apocalyptic world, and a giant portal drops him off back in Metropolis, right in front of a shocked Mxyzptlk, who throws another tantrum: “No one beats Mxyzptlk!”

At that moment, Superman declares himself winner: “I beat your challenges, and you said your name! I win!” Mxyzptlk disagrees —  “The rules were that I say my name backwards!”

Superman explains Mxy’s wrong, stating “my ability of Super Recall” wouldn’t let him forget such a thing! But Mxy defiantly states he’ll prove Supes incorrect!… Confirming an earlier assertion that he can view the past or determine the future, Mxyzptlk tells Superman he’ll take him back to the moment of their deal.

In a bizarre limbo world, Mxyzptlk rewinds the world, showing us all what’s happened. As we near the moment of their first meeting, Superman suggests he slow down the playback. In doing so, the pair watch the first moments of their deal play…in reverse!

And it happens: Mxyzptlk witnesses himself say his own name backwards! Superman bids him a fond farewell, and the world around Superman goes back to normal…with Metropolis following suit!

In the aftermath of his victory, Superman finds Lois. She officially breaks up with him. They hug.

Superman later announces to a disappointed city he isn’t just her defender, his experience with STAR Labs, Mars and across the globe have all proven he belongs to the world at large….

Denouement
Clark arrives at the Planet, disheveled and sad (due to the break-up). Lois tells him she’d like to talk to him…and, to his surprise, asks him out: “I’ve had my head in the clouds too long…you keep me grounded…and that’s what I need in my life.”

Perry, on the other hand, is not having such a good day: His wife has left him.

Jimmy’s trying to figure out how to earn some cash for a new camera.

And just as things seem to calm down, there’s an emergency overseas. Clark sneaks away; Lois looks around, wondering “where he’s gone off to.”

Yes, it’s just another day in Metropolis as we…

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:
Some time later: Luthor is in a dark corner of prison taking an object from someone — “It’s the least you could do for me after you let me down.” He walks off with a wind-up toy that helps him escape, leaving ToyMan behind. We pan up into the stars: Superman streaks by as we continue upwards and move into outer space where the movie started. We again hear the monotone voice from the film’s open…and we finally see its ship, Brainiac’s ship. It speedily moves toward Earth!

——

Afterthoughts:
The Avengers comparison:
– General playful tone w/harmless-yet-big action set pieces
– Villain: a magical creature who loves causing trouble
– Most of the action takes place within the city
– Giant robot-like thing moves through the city in the climax
– The Avengers grow up, learn to take responsibility for who they are as heroes and as a team…this is the exact theme of the above.

BTW, I describe Toyman in some detail but not Mxy. I envisioned him to be creepier than the Myxzptlk we all know and love. Closer to LOTR’s Gollum…but in some sort of odd, creepy space outfit. But, hey, I’m no designer. Just thought I’d share.

The following are sequel notes not presented to Legendary Pictures:
1st Sequel:
Opens with Clark overseas as an undercover investigative reporter.
Origin of Clark/Superman & Brainiac
Origin of Lex Luthor
Lois and Clark’s one date has become an actual relationship.
Superman finds himself jealous of Clark Kent…for a change.
Superman is the world’s defender, not just Metropolis’s.
Perry tries to patch things up w/his wife, endangering his job. (Fired!)
Jimmy becomes a photog extraordinaire.
Lex Luthor and Brainiac attack.

2nd Sequel:
The Daily Planet’s in trouble even with Perry back in control.
Jimmy goes to the dark side: he becomes a paparazzo
Bizarro and Darkseid attack
Clark tells Lois the truth about himself/Superman.
Lex and Superman team-up to save Earth

3rd Sequel:
The Justice League?
Lois and Superman marry.

Superman and all related characters are C and TM Warner Bros.

While this project was solicited by Legendary Pictures, it was done on spec & thus all concepts, except those previously established in the pages of DC Comics, are mine and belong to ME, Keith P.

X-Men test – part 2

More of the ol’ X-Men script sample as sent to me by a long-gone X-ed.

Now’s a good time to mention, I know nothing about these two new characters Dr. Reyes and Marrow. Neither was terribly likable, but I did my best. As far as the former of the two, I had NO clue what the Doc could do. The plot had no details (nor did the Internet at the time) save for something about a forcefield (mentioned in the previous X-post) but that was it. On the second page below, the final script indicates some other power—some kind of empathic ability it seems. But it’s unclear, and I just avoided any reference to her powers in my script sample as a result.

Superman comics mini-series

Don’tcha just love a good title?

Superman:

 

Born Identity

by K-Plan

When a couple of grandstanding politicos (and a none-too-bright NY Post columnist) were railing about a 6-page Superman story — which, clearly, none of them had read in full — re: Superman’s citizenship, I decided to write the below project pitch.

It seemed to me, the best response to the Superman “renouncing his citizenship” nonsense was to change the dialogue. In the story, Superman is the leader, the beacon. His relationship with the U.S. is, fittingly (and metaphorically), strained. This out-of-continuity mini is approached with the complexity of a political thriller, told, like a film, in 3 acts, with Superman in a real-life world which is still part of the DCU.

 

72 People I’ve Met on the Subway — stories 5 & 13

The following are true stories of experiences on NYC subways, buses, etc. They are from my currently unpublished book 72 People I’ve Met On The Subway.

If you don’t laugh, I will refund your money & then  come to your house and tickle you to make up for it.

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5. !#@* #a$ #!%@$

I got on the train at what was the first (and last) stop on this line. There were about seven or eight people in the car.

The seat I chose was next to another 30-something. He was wearing a Mets baseball cap and slowly downing a diet soda.

And he made this noise as he looked at me: “Ep!”

I thought perhaps he was being, in some way I could not comprehend, funny.

Howl the West Was Won – genre-meld feature script (selection)

The set up: a guy named Mackenzie (Mac) is a saloon owner with a terrible secret in a town being attacked by what can only be werewolves. The townsfolk are still putting the clues together…and, in so doing, have had enough — they’ve decided, collectively, to hightail it outta there.

In this scene, Mac’s gal Lacie — also the saloon madam — is seeing the exodus and awakens Mac, who runs out to confront a guy known only as Parson — a Clint Eastwood type who might very well have a secret of his own….

A Muppets TV Show for the modern era – a spec script

FOZZIE, GONZO, MISS PIGGY AND ME
Series Concept and Teleplay
by
K e i t h

All characters © The Jim Henson Company
Concept and adaptation © 2004
This is an unsanctioned project.
Please pardon the formatting.

EST. SHOT – NYC STREET – DAY

ANGLE ON nightclub: KERMIT’S PAD

INT. KERMIT’S PAD – DAY

A spotlight shines on a stage where an empty stool & a mic stand are being set up by Beauregard or Sweetums. ROBIN climbs atop the stool and clears his throat.

KERMIT (O.S.)
Everyone’s ready, Robin.

Robin nods and begins singing “It’s Not Easy Being Green.” When he reaches the point of listing colors (“red, yellow, or gold”) the pace picks up and 3 Britney Spears clones — as sexy background singers — join in.

ANGLE ON KERMIT watching from a chair in the audience. His feet are up, and he’s massaging a temple with his flipper.

KERMIT
(TO AUDIENCE)
Life was so much easier in ’77 BBC.
(PAUSE)
BBC — Before Britney and Christina.
Yeesh!